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Oct 2, 2014

Thought via Path

Seiring dengan mengirim sebuah email, saya teringat kalau dulu si Bapak ini resistansinya tinggi terhadap saya. Dari awal sudah menunjukkan ketidaksetujuannya terhadap adanya mahasiswa di majelis itu. Tapi toh akhirnya kita get along quite well.

Sama halnya dengan beberapa orang yang di awal-awal saya kenal, saya berkonflik dengan mereka. Banyak di antara mereka yang kini justru jadi teman baik. (Biasanya orang-orang tua sih)

Hidup itu seperti prinsip Son Goku, musuh direkrut jadi teman. Prinsip ini didaur ulang oleh Naruto dalam bentuk ceramah panjang untuk mengalahkan musuh yang jauh lebih kuat. #renungankarenanarutogaknongol – Read on Path.

Oct 1, 2014

Some footnote

Lots of stuffs have been going on recently. Lots of ideas. No time to write it properly. No time to do all those stuffs. We have to choose.

I have submitted my QE report to two examiners. What makes a bit sad is I found some errors after it has been submitted. Nevertheless, I want to make it as a means to prove whether the myth true or not: They will not read the report. So, although it’s very risky, I am willing to risk it for the sake of finding the truth.

Because, it turned out that my supervisor didn’t go through all of my formulation. Right before I was going to print my final version, I discovered some mathematical formulation error! It’s on GEV problem, I wrote the matrix pencil incorrectly.

And another stuff, just yesterday, a post-doc was not sure if I implemented the code correctly. I extended the code based on his work. He said some times he made mistake. I worried. I must submit the deadline tomorrow, and all my result is based on that code. So he checked it. And I was so relieved knowing there’s nothing wrong with my noise generation.

I also conveyed my doubt regarding the algorithm we’re currently working on. He explained me with a real case study. In some cases, even the super-resolution algorithm which has very efficient computational complexity could not achieve the very objective of its development. This way, I could appreciate what I’ve been doing as something useful. He said it’s okay for me because he was once feeling the same too. 

Goshhh the world is moving so fast. Our space-time feels like losing its power. Sometimes I wonder, what if I don’t require 10 hours sleep per day? what if I don’t procrastinate? Would I be able to learn all the stuffs I’ve been wanting to learn? To create what I’ve been imagining? Those psychological stuffs, artificial intelligence, chaos theory, quantum physics, behavioral economics, political science… I don’t know why I’m interested into a bunch of stuffs.. almost all stuffs basically. And taking into account how the sum of mankind knowledge and civilization, I must choose.

I remembered my teacher’s saying, “With all these sciences and teachings, we can be anything we want. But we have to choose.”

I finally arrived in a state where I understand how fortunate I am. I was born with multiple-talents. I can be good at anything as long as I want to put my effort on it. I’m a fast learner, with multi-modal type of learning. I was nurtured to handle complexity, trying to find connection between many things. I was exposed to entrepreneurship and politics since I was in elementary school. It’s all the blessing which I often forget to be grateful of.

It’s always hard to realize how we were born with so many advantages over the average human population. Because with a greater blessing, comes the responsibility to redistribute it. Sometimes we’re afraid of it. But, believe me, there must be reasons for it. And we all must realize, all of these belong to God.

Kau mungkin adalah wanita yang mengubah seleraku terhadap makanan. Kini, setiap kali tersaji sushi di hadapanku, aku selalu membayangkan kau yang sedang menunggu di kedai itu. Tempat pertama kali kita makan bersama. Dan mungkin karenamu juga, diam-diam aku selalu merindukan sate padang. Biar bagaimanapun kau adalah kontradiksi sebab dengan segala hygiene itu kau begitu menggemari kol yang digoreng dengan minyak yang sudah menjelantah. Maka aku selalu berikan semua kol goreng itu. Hanya untukmu. Dan jika masih tersisa butiran nasi di piringku, kau akan berkata, “Tumben”. Lalu aku akan menjumputi butiran itu hingga bersih. 
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Pizza ini. Aku bubuhkan banyak keju. Aku oleskan saus tomat. Asin dan manis bercampur. Lalu aku habiskan semua. Hingga tak bersisa. Kenyang. Seperti kisah kita yang lama sirna. Hanya bisa dikenang. #cerpenabsurd #contohparagrafinkoheren #pizza
Sep 30, 2014

Kau mungkin adalah wanita yang mengubah seleraku terhadap makanan. Kini, setiap kali tersaji sushi di hadapanku, aku selalu membayangkan kau yang sedang menunggu di kedai itu. Tempat pertama kali kita makan bersama. Dan mungkin karenamu juga, diam-diam aku selalu merindukan sate padang. Biar bagaimanapun kau adalah kontradiksi sebab dengan segala hygiene itu kau begitu menggemari kol yang digoreng dengan minyak yang sudah menjelantah. Maka aku selalu berikan semua kol goreng itu. Hanya untukmu. Dan jika masih tersisa butiran nasi di piringku, kau akan berkata, “Tumben”. Lalu aku akan menjumputi butiran itu hingga bersih.
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Pizza ini. Aku bubuhkan banyak keju. Aku oleskan saus tomat. Asin dan manis bercampur. Lalu aku habiskan semua. Hingga tak bersisa. Kenyang. Seperti kisah kita yang lama sirna. Hanya bisa dikenang. #cerpenabsurd #contohparagrafinkoheren #pizza

Susahnya hidup di era copas. Gak cuman berita men yg salah dishare.. ayat al-Quran pun sampe imajiner.. huft banget.. – View on Path.
Sep 30, 2014

Susahnya hidup di era copas. Gak cuman berita men yg salah dishare.. ayat al-Quran pun sampe imajiner.. huft banget.. – View on Path.

Terkadang, untuk menjalin silaturahmi yang sudah lama terputus butuh mengeluarkan diri dari zona nyaman. Kadang sungkan, takut gak ditanggepin, dll.
Tp hari ini saya belajar. Jika dengan menjalinnya kembali bisa membuat orang lain senang, kita pun akan ikut senang. Sungguh. #senangitusederhana – View on Path.
Sep 28, 2014

Terkadang, untuk menjalin silaturahmi yang sudah lama terputus butuh mengeluarkan diri dari zona nyaman. Kadang sungkan, takut gak ditanggepin, dll.
Tp hari ini saya belajar. Jika dengan menjalinnya kembali bisa membuat orang lain senang, kita pun akan ikut senang. Sungguh. #senangitusederhana – View on Path.

Saksi bisu obrolan absurd Bandung connection di Tiong Bahru. Dari Indonesian dream hingga space-time curvature.. dan bahwa diaspora orang Indonesia ga segitunya.
Sep 28, 2014

Saksi bisu obrolan absurd Bandung connection di Tiong Bahru. Dari Indonesian dream hingga space-time curvature.. dan bahwa diaspora orang Indonesia ga segitunya.

Crash course on how to write a history essay by Mr. Adhi. *all of a sudden it came across my mind to write a more serious writing. Not sure if I can make it but at least I want to give it a try
Sep 27, 2014 / 1 note

Crash course on how to write a history essay by Mr. Adhi. *all of a sudden it came across my mind to write a more serious writing. Not sure if I can make it but at least I want to give it a try

Two things have returned. 1) A book from one of my favorite author. 2) A long overdue QE report draft.
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Today I’ve been through many discussions. One of them discussed dimensionless-model of life. I had it with a professor in MAE. Initially we’re discussing about chaotic signal and the possibility to work together in the future (how to draw a connection with my research). He also showed a book on nonlinear dynamic. “Read this book and you’ll know there are many mistakes on Dewi Lestari’s Supernova”. And then we discussed about life philosophy based on models in our respective fields. 
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Our conversation reminds me of this book which has just been returned by my housemate. This author was very controversial as he delivers an ‘Islamic’ reincarnation. IMO, it basically represents the traditional Javanese traditional belief (Islam/Christianity/Hinduism/Buddhism mixture). Nonetheless such book opened my eyes to see beyond the walls in 2008. Though I took the other path, I’m so grateful to read books from this author.
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Although it seemed impossible, now I started to make progress in my study. Sometimes I laugh at myself. Why did this 34 pages report take so long for it contains so little words? And still I need to make amendments, including to put the correct punctuation, space, and small grammatical mistakes. My supervisor seems optimistic regarding my research but somehow I don’t feel like I have that level of optimism.
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But in the end we’re just creatures trapped in time and space. That’s how I draw connection between those two. 
#cantdoproperbloggingrightnow
Sep 26, 2014

Two things have returned. 1) A book from one of my favorite author. 2) A long overdue QE report draft.
.
Today I’ve been through many discussions. One of them discussed dimensionless-model of life. I had it with a professor in MAE. Initially we’re discussing about chaotic signal and the possibility to work together in the future (how to draw a connection with my research). He also showed a book on nonlinear dynamic. “Read this book and you’ll know there are many mistakes on Dewi Lestari’s Supernova”. And then we discussed about life philosophy based on models in our respective fields.
.
Our conversation reminds me of this book which has just been returned by my housemate. This author was very controversial as he delivers an ‘Islamic’ reincarnation. IMO, it basically represents the traditional Javanese traditional belief (Islam/Christianity/Hinduism/Buddhism mixture). Nonetheless such book opened my eyes to see beyond the walls in 2008. Though I took the other path, I’m so grateful to read books from this author.
.
Although it seemed impossible, now I started to make progress in my study. Sometimes I laugh at myself. Why did this 34 pages report take so long for it contains so little words? And still I need to make amendments, including to put the correct punctuation, space, and small grammatical mistakes. My supervisor seems optimistic regarding my research but somehow I don’t feel like I have that level of optimism.
.
But in the end we’re just creatures trapped in time and space. That’s how I draw connection between those two.
#cantdoproperbloggingrightnow

Sep 26, 2014

Bandung Connection.. karena nggak ada tempat senongkrong PVJ di Singapura. Apalagi Gemboel yang buka 24 jam. Apalagi CK yang bisa ngemper kongkow dini hari. Apalagi McD Dago.. dll

Sep 23, 2014 / 1 note

Overheard: Stranger Chat At Bookstore

So I was looking for a book while visiting popular. How to be interesting by Jessica Haggy. Only one was left at the shelf. I saw it for so many times when I visited this bookstore in the past time. I thought, why no one buys this book? Since it was not sealed, I tried to read through. I found this book is more suitable for visual person like me. But too bad, I still have so many unread books.

But that time, I decided to take that book. Unfortunately, i couldn’t find it. And in that corridor, two ladies was talking to each other. It’s making it more difficult to look up for the book since the space is very limited. I didn’t have any option but to hear what they’re talking while my eyes wandering around trying to cover a further from its normal coverage range. It turned out that they were strangers.

"Are you working? I’m surprised you’re still making time to read book"

A lady wearing casual clothes was trying to start a conversation with the lady wearing formal attire. I heard that the lady work as a supervisor in a foreign company.

"Yes. Actually, in the weekend I go nowhere. I read books."

"It’s very surprising you know. Nowadays people start to abandon book. But for me, I like this kind of book better. Better than ebook. You know sometimes people open dictionary or google or internet to find something they’re looking for. But, if you read a book, you may find something that you’re not even looking for. And it’s very useful for me, and also for people around me."

"Yes, exactly."

The lady who started the conversation also pointed to a book that she mentioned it as her favorite. She used to bring it in her bag anywhere she goes. A big book, they laughed. But that’s good, the other lady said, the magic of thinking big.

And then I decided to leave the bookstore to offer prayer, hoping that two of them would be gone when I come back. But, it’s interesting to see how two strangers could start up a conversation at the bookstore. Maybe those playbook is right, bookstore is one of the place where you can meet a new person, start a conversation with open minded people.

Alas, I couldn’t find the book. I remember there were a few times where I found good books, only one left at the shelf, but then I decided to wait for the right time to buy it and finally they’re gone. The truth is I always think nobody is going to buy that book. I don’t think they will be gone. I don’t think I will lose the chance to buy those books. I simply don’t understand if they’re not mine yet although they were being left alone for a long time without anyone buying.

Whenever I see this book, I remember you. It feels like I want to ask you, “Have you finished it? I don’t want to read it. I want to hear it from you, just like how we used to talk about random stuffs for ..I don’t know how many hours.. until the owner of the place told us they’re closing soon”
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There was a moment when I was thinking.. that you’re gonna be a powerful woman someday. I hope you’re still that woman. Because it’s always good to have a good good friend.
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#minifiction #friendship #toolazytoinstalltumblrapps
Sep 22, 2014

Whenever I see this book, I remember you. It feels like I want to ask you, “Have you finished it? I don’t want to read it. I want to hear it from you, just like how we used to talk about random stuffs for ..I don’t know how many hours.. until the owner of the place told us they’re closing soon”
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There was a moment when I was thinking.. that you’re gonna be a powerful woman someday. I hope you’re still that woman. Because it’s always good to have a good good friend.
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#minifiction #friendship #toolazytoinstalltumblrapps

So now you’re back to normal. I believe if you keep up your hard work you can [censored]. Prove that you are better than the system. Rq modelling is very crucial I hope you can start it soon. Start the chapter 4 and 5 soon, keep it up since you’ve got the momentum.
Sep 22, 2014 / 1 note
Sep 21, 2014 / 4 notes

Fik, kenapa lo pengen dapet gelar PhD?

tau dari mana saya pengen? haha.. sejujurnya ada suatu masa dimana saya mempertanyakan, penting tidak mendapat gelar PhD. kalau TLDR bisa langsung masuk ke bagian [INTI CERITA]
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waktu kecil saya pernah bercita-cita jadi profesor (mungkin karena terpengaruh komik Fikri Anak Jenius yang saya baca pas kelas 1/2 SD dan kebanyakan baca ensiklopedia) termuda (karena sepupu saya ada yang habis S1 langsung lanjut S2 cumlaude melulu dan kebetulan saya masuk SD kecepetan karena bosen a.k.a bolos mulu pas TK)


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Nah, seiring dengan berjalannya waktu cita-cita ini mulai pudar tergantikan oleh ambisi menjadi komikus, programmer, web designer, dll.. hingga akhirnya saya terdampar di Bandung, kuliah di Teknik Elektro ITB. Saya males-malesan dalam belajar.. ip saya sempet satu koma, ngulang banyak mata kuliah.. (sempet jg kepikiran mau pindah) lalu pelariannya ikut organisasi dan lomba-lomba.. saya sempat berpikir sudah capek sekolah cukup S1 aja nanti kerja/bikin startup aja..
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Namun suatu ketika, saya nyasar di sebuah presentasi.. saya yang tadinya udah mengubur mimpi untuk jadi doktor/profesor tiba-tiba mulai kepikiran lagi saat ternyata ada kesempatan untuk langsung S3 di NTU.. gapake TOEFL dan GRE pula karena tiba-tiba disuruh ikut tes pengganti (yang saya bahkan nggak tau kalo ada tes semacam itu) .. apalagi di masa akhir kuliah, saya banyak berbincang tentang sistem pendidikan tinggi di Indonesia bersama para guru besar ITB di MWA.
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Nah.. mulailah saya kembali berpikir untuk mewujudkan cita-cita masa kecil saya. Pikir saya sih, nanti kalau sudah S3, saya tidak akan males-malesan lagi, kalau perlu IP perfect, dan bikin sesuatu yang keren gitu deh..
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Long story short, saya akhirnya keterima dan memutuskan untuk ambil PhD dan keluar dari sebuah perusahaan multinasional di Jakarta meski saya juga baru masuk berapa bulan (pilihan yang sulit).. Tapi ternyata begitu masuk sini saya masih males-malesan.. dan karena pas S1 dulu juga asal lulus jadinya saya bener-bener gak ngerti apa-apa.. saya akhirnya kena academic warning 3 kali (nyaris DO)
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[INTI CERITA]
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Di masa-masa nyaris DO ini saya mulai berpikir (sebagai bentuk pembenaran), pentingkah gelar PhD? Apa benar kita harus PhD untuk bisa membuat suatu perubahan? Apa yang akan saya lakukan kalau tidak PhD?
Karena sudah di jurang DO, saya sempat melakukan beberapa research.. bahwa banyak karya-karya hebat tidak dibuat oleh orang dengan gelar PhD, banyak orang memutuskan quit dari PhD lalu bikin start-up yang berguna.. atau mereka memilih mengejar passionnya yang lain.. ada pula orang-orang yang secara independen melakukan riset yang lebih bermanfaat bagi masyarakat secara langsung..

di sisi lain banyak juga orang dengan gelar PhD, tidak melakukan apa-apa dan malah justru melakukan hal-hal yang menghambat perkembangan masyarakat kita: misalnya yang koruptor, atau yang ngaku2 ilmuwan tapi membelokkan ilmu pengetahuan utk kepentingan pribadi, dll

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Adalah sebuah perjalanan panjang mengapa saya masih di sini sampai sekarang dan akhirnya terjawablah pertanyaan itu. Sempat ada suatu titik dimana saya merasa segala ilmu dan personal growth yang saya dapatkan selama perjalanan untuk mencapai gelar PhD ini LEBIH BERHARGA DIBANDINGKAN GELAR PHD ITU SENDIRI.. dan sampai detik itu saya sudah pasrah, apakah suatu saat saya akan dapet gelar PhD atau tidak
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Nah, karena melalui proses ini saya dipaksa belajar banyak hal. Bahwa akhirnya gelar itu adalah suatu formalitas, bagian dari struktur peradaban manusia.. sementara esensinya sendiri adalah ilmu dan kapabilitas dalam melakukan penelitian berdasarkan prinsip-prinsip ilmiah.. namun seperti kata Syekh Siti Jenar: “Syareat Wes Kepelson” (seperti contoh yg beberapa paragraf sebelumnya)

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Banyak orang akhirnya mengejar gelar PhD demi sesuatu yang semu. Saya tidak pengen seperti itu. Idealnya, ketika saya punya gelar PhD, saya bisa memberikan manfaat lebih, dibandingkan jika saya tidak punya gelar PhD. Dan secara sederhana, saya ingin menjadi orang yang lebih berguna bagi masyarakat, kalau memang Tuhan berkehendak.

Karena ask.fm gak muat buat ngejawab pertanyaan ini.

Sep 20, 2014 / 1 note

"Sing a song from Begin Again" as requested by Kani, mr awesome who took this video, I tried to sing "Lost Stars". It feels so good to sing it out so loud, since we’re at the beach anyway.. and though I sang it wholeheartedly, everyone else simply didn’t care :))
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And yeah. Picnicking. That’s what you should do when you have a deadline in the next two days. Refresh your brain because it will work really hard tomorrow. LOL
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“To cut down a tree in five minutes spend three minutes sharpening your axe.”

Sebenernya ini terhitung procrastinating. Jadi td sempet ngobrol sm dosen jurusan lain.. dia nanya apakah algoritma yg saya kerjain bisa dipake buat chaotic noise. I don’t have any idea about chaotic noise.. begitu nyari dgn keyword tertentu rupanya ada 2 artikel.. yg cocok cuman satu.. eh begitu dibuka rupanya bahasa turki.. mgkn kalo saya udah segitu savvynya dlm menggunakan bahasa matematika bisa ttp paham kali ya.. sayangnya tidak :( – View on Path.
Sep 20, 2014

Sebenernya ini terhitung procrastinating. Jadi td sempet ngobrol sm dosen jurusan lain.. dia nanya apakah algoritma yg saya kerjain bisa dipake buat chaotic noise. I don’t have any idea about chaotic noise.. begitu nyari dgn keyword tertentu rupanya ada 2 artikel.. yg cocok cuman satu.. eh begitu dibuka rupanya bahasa turki.. mgkn kalo saya udah segitu savvynya dlm menggunakan bahasa matematika bisa ttp paham kali ya.. sayangnya tidak :( – View on Path.